The Necessity of Reevaluation in Household Management

In the introductory post for this series, I listed four areas of life in which regular reevaluation is highly beneficial and today we will focus on the second area, that of household management.  Here is a great theme verse to keep you motivated in what can often become rather mundane tasks:

"She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness."                                        Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

Yes, that godly lady that we all aspire to be like in chapter 31 of Proverbs looked "well to the ways of her household."  So, my first point is that we are going to focus on our own households; it doesn't say she looked "well to the households of others."  Our priority as Christian wives and mothers should be to focus on our own home and maintain it well.  Everyone has different standards and, although it is fine to offer tips or share helpful information about cleaning or cooking that we have learned, we should not be constantly looking down on someone else's seeming inability to care for their home (up to our standards) or talking about them behind their back.

However, we should also note that our behavior as Christians reflects God to the world and it is important to take our dominion over our homes seriously.  The woman in Proverbs 31 also did not "eat the bread of idleness."  Does this mean she never rested?  Certainly not!  She at least had to rest on the Sabbath as she would have been following the Old Testament law.  Also, Psalms 127:2 says:

"It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep."

My take on the verse from Proverbs 31 is that this woman lived a productive and diligent lifestyle.  Her home and family were well taken care of and she certainly could not be accused of being lazy!  She had to rest though since God designed our bodies to need this regularly, especially in the form of sleep at night!

Titus 2:4 is another verse, specifically relating to the older women teaching the younger women about the importance of being busy at home:

"so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."  (emphasis mine) 

Now, on this note, if you are an older woman with experience in managing a household, you may have opportunity to help teach and guide younger women in ways to best accomplish these tasks.  In this instance, as always, it is very important to remember that all of our actions and comments should be grounded in Christlike love and genuine concern for the person with whom we are interacting.  I would also like to point out here that I am far from perfect in this area of my life and am often reevaluating how things are working in my own home.  I'd like to share some things that have been helpful to me in conducting this reevaluation and some suggestions for making changes if needed.  There are three areas related to household management that stand out to me: cleaning, cooking and managing finances.

Cleaning

Several questions that come to mind you should ask yourself to determine whether this section of  your household management needs tweaking:

1. Does your house reflect the orderliness of God?
2. Is your home messy or cluttered to the point that it distracts you when you need to focus on other tasks (such as homeschooling your children or spending time with your husband)?
3. Does the state of your home bother your husband or keep him from feeling relaxed when he arrives home?
4. Do your family members have clean clothes when they need them?  *And, yes, my answer has been "no" once in the past to this question.  This one is in here at my husband's suggestion!*

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, chances are your cleaning routine could use some brushing up!  I think there are several steps that are helpful in creating a cleaning routine that works well for you:

1. Prioritize

There are many tasks that need to be done to maintain a clean and orderly home.  Some of these tasks are vitally important to the functioning of your home and proper care of your family.  Other tasks are not quite as important, but are certainly desirable in maintaining a well-cared for home.  For instance, it is much more important that your family members have clean clothing to wear and clean dishes from which to eat than it is for all the ceiling fans in your home to be dusted.  It is very helpful to make a list of all the cleaning tasks that can be done room by room in your home.  Once you have your exhaustive list, you can prioritize these things according to things that are "desirable" and things that are "necessary."  It would be great to get your husband's input on this as well, so you know which things are most important to him!

2. Divide

Once you have prioritized your exhaustive list, you can divide the tasks up by days, weeks, months, seasons, etc. according to how often they need to be done.  This can be highly structured or somewhat flexible.  I have found it immensely helpful to make a laminated chart which can be used over and over again to keep up with regular household tasks.  For more on my personal household chore charts, click here.  

3. Organize

Regular maintenance of your home becomes much simpler if you cut out as much clutter as possible and designate a place for things in your home.  I'm sure you've heard the saying, "A place for everything and everything in its place."  Well, in my house, the clutter sure can build up fast and a lot of it isn't junk.  We're a little tight on space right now while we're waiting on the completion of our addition, but I am looking forward to the day I have more space to organize things.  Some stuff I just don't have a place for right now, but we will very shortly.  My plan for the future is making sure that everything that comes into our house finds a "place" very quickly or it will not be staying in our home.  I'm sure that will help cut down on the clutter!  It remains to be seen how well I will implement that plan, but I'll do my best!

4. Delegate

Ah, here's a great one!  If God has blessed you with children, then you have some built-in helpers at your home.  Even the preschoolers can help with a few things.  After I helped him a few times, my 3 year old was able to fold and put away the washcloths when the laundry is being done.  He can also help pick up his own toys.  My oldest child, 6, can do quite a bit more than this.  Take advantage of the helpers God has given you.  They create many of the messes and dirty the clothes and dishes, so train them to help clean up after themselves and care for their home.  Sure it takes a little more work on the front end as they learn to do tasks on their own, but I hear it's well worth it!  I'm mainly in the "more work" stage with my young children right now, but I can't wait to see what a help they will be as they grow older.  Now, let me say that I am certainly not advocating having your children do all the work while you laze about!  But, it is highly reasonable to teach them to care for their own things and pitch in to maintain the family home.  Also, I would not encourage you to "delegate" things to your husband.  First of all, he is your head (Ephesians 5:23) and he is working hard to provide financially for your family (I Timothy 5:8).  If he helps with the household chores, it definitely needs to be of his own accord.  (I must throw in here that my husband is a wonderful help right after we have a baby!  He takes care of the dishes and keeps the laundry going for a couple of weeks until I bounce back.  He doesn't do these things on a regular basis however.)

Cooking

It's 4:30 p.m. and your husband is due home within the hour.  You're frantically rummaging through kitchen cabinets searching for the last ingredient for the dish you think you'd like to make.  After determining that you don't have that ingredient on hand, you start another search to see what you do actually have the ingredients to make.  You finally discover some canned pasta sauce and find a box of spaghetti noodles stuffed behind several things in the back of the cabinet.  Quickly, you manage to get this cooked and thrown together on plates just in time for your husband's arrival.

Does this sound like you?  If so, your kitchen routine could use some aid!  It used to be me quite frequently and it didn't seem like such a big deal at first, but it became more and more difficult as children were added to the family.  Throwing something together at the last minute doesn't work very well when you have an upset baby and/or a toddler who hasn't had a nap and is fussy about everything.  I now keep a regular menu, which is somewhat flexible.  I try to make sure we have something fast and easy planned for certain nights (such as Wednesday when we have Bible class to get to) depending on our schedule for the week.  It is so much less stressful to know what meals I'll be cooking for the week and that I have all the ingredients I need!  

Planning a menu is simple and well worth the time it takes.  You could plan out three meals a day or just plan dinner and keep easy things on hand for breakfast and lunch.  I generally plan a week at a time.  A major factor in this is keeping inventory of what you have in your kitchen.  I do this just before planning out the menu.  Make categories of vegetables, meats, fruits, dairy, etc. and subcategories of items in each category.  Count them up and mark down how many you have.  Here's an example:

Dairy                          Amount
Sour Cream                 2 16 oz. containers
Milk                              4 gallons
Shredded Cheddar     3 8 oz. bags
Butter                           5 sticks

As you plan your meals, lower the number for the item you have planned to use in a meal.  If you plan chili and you will use 1 16 oz. sour cream and 1 8 oz. bag of shredded cheddar, then you would cross out the numbers on your list and mark down 1 beside the sour cream and 2 beside the shredded cheddar.  That way you don't plan to use more than what you actually have!  This idea works great for me.  It also helps me see if there's one or two things I still need for something I'd like to have on the menu soon and I can add those things to my shopping list.  Just figure out what makes things run more smoothly in your home and go with it!

Managing Finances

I realize not all of us will have the same level of responsibility in this area, but we all influence it to an extent.  Here are the questions to ask here:

1. Am I doing my best to manage our family's money wisely as I have opportunity?
2. Am I remaining within budget in the areas over which I have control?

There are two areas for which we as women most often have control over the spending: groceries and clothing.  There are also many strategies to save in these areas.  You may have good access and ability to use all of these methods or only pick a few that work for you.  Here are some tips for these areas:

• Use coupons as much as possible.  You don't have to get the local paper to do this, although that may be helpful as well.  There are websites online from which you can print coupons (SmartSource or RedPlum).  You can also sign up for e-mail offers at many companies' websites and they will send you coupons occasionally.  Also, try to take advantage of using them at stores that will double or triple them.  
• Plan your menu around the sales and not just what sounds good.  I'm trying this out this month in efforts to rein in our food budget which seems to need major attention following the first of the year.  I think food prices have gone up!  Anyway, I used to make my shopping list from my menu, which was mainly planned based on what sounded good to me that week.  I am now going through the sales papers for my local stores and purchasing a reasonable amount of things on sale that we regularly use.  Then, I take kitchen inventory and plan my menu based on what I have.  This also gives you a list of things to watch the sales for during the remainder of the month.  I found pasta on sale well the first week of the month, but the store didn't have any pasta sauce we like on sale well, so I'm watching for that now.
• Check around for local discount stores or "scratch & dent" stores.  I recently discovered one of these nearby thanks to word-of-mouth and got some great deals on produce and a few other things.  You do have to be careful to check dates and look things over carefully, but if you are discerning you can get some high quality things at great savings!
• If you shop online, make sure you're getting rewarded for your purchases.  Check out my previous post about "My Points" or the website for UPromise.
• Shop the clearance racks at the end of seasons for clothing.  I try to do this as often as possible, but I don't get out to the department stores and mall as much as I used to!  Going with three children in tow is much different than alone or with just one.  It is manageable though and I try to plan my visits when they are switching out the clothing for the next season.  As long as you know what size to plan for, you can find clothing for your children and yourself at great discounts!  You can also keep an eye on clothing sites as they often put things on clearance as well.  
• Check local consignment sales.  Many times you can find quality items for a good price at these sales.  

If you're still struggling to keep these areas within your budget after trying out these and other money-saving tips, you may need to do some rearranging of your budgeted funds if possible.  Sometimes, such as when cost of living goes up or you add another child to the family or have a child switch over to table food from nursing, it does necessitate a slight increase in a budget category if possible.  These changes will definitely need to be discussed and planned out with or by your husband and prayerfully considered in light of how they will affect the rest of your budget.  Also, if you find yourself in need and unable to meet your family's food or clothing needs, please see what options are available to you while you work through this.  My local congregation, for instance, has a food pantry, as well as a clothing closet which is open once a month.  There are many who are willing to help you while you work through your financial difficulty.  

In closing, many of you reading this are the Titus 2 "older woman" to me and I'd love to hear your thoughts and tips on some of these items!  Please share what has worked well for you in any of these areas to benefit others.  Your ideas may really help someone else!  Also, feel free to add a link to your own blog post on these subjects if you've got one!  God bless us all with perseverance and motivation as we strive to look well to the ways of our own households!