The Necessity of Reevaluation in Family Life

This last post for the "Reevaluation Series" has been a long time coming.  The reason for that?  My own reevaluation!  I had too many things going in my life and they were keeping me from doing a good job at my primary responsibilities of being a good wife and mother.  Several things in my life have been scaled back to reduce stress and make life better for me and my family as a whole.  This blog is one of those things.  It is just not possible for me to commit to several, regular posts per week right now, so I will blog as I am able without taking away from my other more important commitments.  You see, my goal in blogging is to put forth meaningful information and teaching that will help you in your Christian walk and your role as a wife and mother.  I don't want to simply tell you about my day or throw together a paragraph just to get something posted.  There are blogs like that and people enjoy them and that is fine, but that is not what this blog is about.  That said, it might be a good idea to subscribe to my blog so you know when I post.  I won't be putting something up every Monday, for instance, so this is definitely the way to go if you'd like to read my musings (which I hope you do!).  So, on to reevaluating your family life...

Setting Goals

This one is going to be very unique to each individual family.  You and your husband should decide together what your main goals are for your family and then evaluate each activity in your family life in relation to these goals.  Even some of the goals themselves could change somewhat over time, so this area definitely requires regular reevaluation.  Here are my example long-term goals for our family regarding my role and our family as a whole:

1. My main function is to glorify God through my service to my family as a wife and mother.
2. The main way we as parents glorify God is by teaching in word and example the traits of Christ and need for salvation to our children.
3. Our main goal for our children is that they grow up to serve the Lord.

Supporting Those Goals

So, these things play out practically in many ways.  You have to decide how you are going to best accomplish these goals and also add in short-term goals as needed that support your long-term ones.  For instance, we believe that the best way we can work toward goals 2 and 3 is by homeschooling our children. This maximizes the amount of time we spend with them for discipleship, as well as ensures all things taught to them are from a Biblical worldview.

Now, you can take this goal and evaluate different areas accordingly.  Consider the following example questions:

• Does this curriculum draw my children to Christ or push them away?
• Does my child really need to take music lessons, play organized sports, etc. or is there a better use of that time to draw them closer to Christ?  
• Should we promote age segregated activities for our children or teach them to do things together?
• Does a home-school co-op support our family goals at this point in time?

The point of all this is that I don't think there really are any "neutral" decisions in relation to our children.  That is a sobering thought, but thank God for His grace to help us, for we will make mistakes.  There are so many decisions to be made in raising your children and how you will spend your time as a family, but please carefully evaluate those decisions.  Consider them in light of guidance by principles gleaned from God's Word and with prayer.  Putting your child into tee-ball just because "that's what people do" may not make it the best choice for your family.  Then again, it may be a perfectly fine choice for your family.  It may not interfere with your family time and it may fit in well with the goals you and your husband have for your family.

A Matter of the Heart

There are so many areas to consider in relation to our family goals and we are wise to deliberate over such things as follows:

• What activities your children are involved in and how much time is dedicated to them.
• What music your children listen to.
• What television shows or movies your children are consuming.
• With whom you allow your children to spend time.

All of these choices are going to influence your child's heart (and your own, so keep this in mind when you make choices for yourself as well!).  You need to be sure these areas are supporting your goals!  Remember Jesus' words in Matthew 15:18-20:

 

"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.  These things are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man." (NASB, emphasis mine)

Also, please consider that many "good" things can creep in and keep you from doing the "better" things.  Remember that Martha was busy and complaining to Christ about Mary's not helping her.  Listen to His answer regarding their respective choices in Luke 10:41-42:

' "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ' (NIV, emphasis mine)

Remember when making your decisions about how you and your family spend your time that you should not let many "good things" crowd out that which is best!  May God bless us all as we seek his guidance together with our husbands for the best way to manage our family's time on this earth.